


Her Resistance

by Lola_McGee



Series: Her Self [5]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Abusive Parent, Because ur character study is only srs if u swear, But after 500 I realized I couldn't do it, Character Study, Gen, HIV/AIDS, Hospitals, I actually cried thinking about Lena while writing this fic, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, It was supposed to be 2000+ words like the rest, Kara/Lena is in this because I needed something to cheer myself up, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor deserves all the love she can get, Lena Luthor deserves so much more than Lillian, Let me know if something needs to be tagged, Like actual depictions of abuse, Lillian Luthor is NOT Queer, Lillian Luthor is just evil, My Queer babies don't have to worry about being associated with Lillian, Short, So much cut from this story, Swearing, Too many warnings to count, like always
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 17:56:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10836399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lola_McGee/pseuds/Lola_McGee
Summary: Lillian Luthor's relationship with change.Otherwise known as the most emotionally draining piece of fiction I wrote.Please please please be safe.  I don't know how to fully tag this one because there's a lot of messed up implications to Lillian's story.





	Her Resistance

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is far much shorter than I intended it to be. But it's also the most emotionally draining one of these so far. Because writing Lillian is hard. So, honestly, I have no idea how good this one is.
> 
> Lillian's experience as an MD mirrors my mother's own as a student and resident during the 80's, especially with the poor of New York. However, my mother is a saint, who took her experiences working with people during the height of the AIDS epidemic, and people who were affected by addiction, and tried to make a better world.
> 
> Also, I'm of the camp that Lillian isn't explicitly homophobic; yes she almost certainly carries a lot of bad attitudes towards gay people, but she, in her own way, doesn't care that they exist. She is, though, xenophobic and almost certainly would be anti-immigrant if aliens didn't become such a big issue.
> 
> Finally, I need to add a big old caveat. It's in the series notes but it's needs to be said here: THE VIEWS EXPRESSED HERE ARE NOT THE VIEWS OF THE AUTHOR, BUT RATHER THE AUTHOR'S INTERPRETATION OF ONE FACET OF HOW THEY VIEW THEMSELVES AND THE WORLD AROUND THEM. Of course, you guys are all great and lovely and probably don't need this warning, but I feel very strongly that it should be included in this one, because Lillian touches upon some heavy things; and the parts left on the cutting room floor are harsher.
> 
> Unbetaed and not even lightly edited because I couldn't deal.

Lillian Luthor knows people. Knows that they can be cruel and vicious. Knows how change isn’t good; knows how it usually hurts.

(No one remembers that Lillian Luthor grew up in the 1960’s and 70’s. That one of her earliest memories was hearing that RFK had been assassinated. How her own mother, her own mother who always looked Lillian in the eye and told her that she is to never show weakness, sobbed when she heard the news.)

(No one remembers that she was a doctor before she was a Luthor. That her M.D. program began in 1983, at Gotham General Teaching Hospital. No one remembers that she saw, first hand, how AIDS tore communities apart. She watched as young gay men wasted away, coughing up blood, crying out for family members who long abandoned them. She saw how tiny newborns could be, how fragile, while their mothers’ started showing the first signs of withdrawal. She remembered days where she’d return from her rotation after 36 hours on, feel the blood and the shit staining her skin, no matter how much she cleaned herself.)

(No one remembers any of the kindness Lillian Luthor has ever shown, rather recasting her desire to do good as pure hate.)

Lillian Luthor learned, from a fairly young age, that she can’t sit still when life seemed to spiral out of control. Can’t just accept poor changes; corrections to courses that sail deeper into the storm, not away from it.

(She remembers handing out “Nixon Now” buttons at campaign rallies in ‘72; a knobbly, knock-kneed ten year old. Who looked at McGovern and knew, even though Lillian was just coming into the world, just learning to navigate its finer intricacies, that this kind of change was just simply wrong.)

Of course, she was always destined to become a Luthor. Even if she hadn’t met Lionel, hadn’t been attracted to his steadfastness, his brilliance which matched her own, his vision. Even if she never had joined the family. She was always going to possess the traits which made a Luthor.

(Possessed it more than even Lionel, considering his lack of loyalty to the family. To her. That he doted on his bastard daughter with that whore more than the son that was actually a Luthor. That he changed slowly over time.)

(She sometimes wonders if she possesses it more than Lex. That his passions, while important, while correct, didn’t let him focus his genius. Didn’t let him strategize and imagine, didn’t let him calmly handle the threats he faced. But no, no. He has always been perfect, is still perfect, even if they locked him away. The perfect Luthor.)

(She never has to consider if she’s more of a Lena than Luthor. She knows. Even when the bitch tricked her, made Lillian give the slightest approval of her, suggested to Lillian under false pretenses that she can become a Luthor. Lena can never become a full Luthor; at best a pale imitation of one.)

But, even being a Luthor didn’t protect her from change being thrusted upon her. She learned that lesson the day they dragged Lex away. Lex, her beautiful child, who was the only other one to truly understand how dangerous change can be. How necessary it is to resist it. Lex who couldn’t change in a bad way on her, couldn’t disappoint her, because he was perfect.

No, the world villainized him for resisting change. For recognizing that the good in humanity was being slowly stripped away by invaders. That termites had found a feast in their home’s foundation, and the humans living there were too stupid, too scared to defy those that claimed that the termites were good. For doing what is necessary.

So she honoured his sacrifice in the only way she could; she carried on his work. It is necessary.

(No matter how many times the false gods try to throw her down; worm their way into her life by seducing the non-Luthor Luthor, trying to pervert the family name. And she has no doubt that her idiot of a shameful adopted daughter actually buys into the charade. That she actually loves her invader and believes that the conquerer loves her.)

(No, she is the only true Luthor left; the only true Luthor able to act freely. So she’ll do what she must. She’ll resist.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I'm not going to say I hope you enjoy it, since I'm not sure I did. And I honestly can't tell how bad it is; the story went to some very dark places before I peeled them away.
> 
> It might be a bit before the next story comes out; I'm still working on that more light hearted story, and after Lillian I think I need more fluff than unflinching looks into the void.
> 
> Right now, the characters I have planned to at least try writing about are M'gann, Cat and Lucy (perhaps not in that order). I don't know if I'll get through all of them, but I want to.
> 
> I'm honestly on the fence about whether or not I want to write Maggie or Eliza, since my connection with those characters is the weakest by far.
> 
> But, like always, if people have suggestions for characters they want to see, I'm always happy to hear them out! We are probably about half way through the series, maybe a little under, since there are only so many female characters who I can write about. My count is about 8 left and I'm not sure I can do them all.
> 
> I love y'all and y'all are great. Kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day; especially comments because I can figure out what you guys are thinking.
> 
> Have a great day!


End file.
